Surprisingly, there isn't a good "bottoming out" story here. There wasn't any particular incident that's instigated this. Work is going fine, my friendships are at least on an even keel, and while I'm known for being a hard drinker no one seems particularly concerned about it.
I know that this is a good idea. I am the heaviest drinker I know, and even though at this years's physical back in March I was found to be in overall good health and that my liver enzymes are okay, this is going to start taking a toll soon. There's no way it can't, really.
But I'm very angry about it. This is failing at a very deliberate decision I made seven and a half years ago when I chose to start drinking. This is losing my own little battle.
Despite writing this here, I'm not really inclined to talk about it. If I want someone's help, I'll specifically ask for it. I tell people things I'm proud of, and this isn't one of them.
Comments disabled because I don't really want to talk about it anymore.